Weight Loss Tracker

Monday, September 28, 2009

inspiration photos

I think Kristen had a very poignant blog post the other day about inspiration photos.

I used to love taking pictures of myself or as part of a group. I acknowledged I was heavier but I always did my best to look less-fat in pictures than I really was. - Like turning to the side was really fooling anyone. -

I took tons of pictures of my HUGE pregnant self. I didn't care that I was almost 400lbs. I was pregnant and I wanted pictures. Check out this one a few days before Aidan made his arrival. I was so swollen I could hardly see! That is a 5X gown that I bought about 2 months before I gave birth. I had grown out of my regular 3X and was worried that a 4X wouldn't make it all the way through. I still wear them even though they are too big now.

That was almost a year ago now. They will be one of the first things to go!


But after the birth of my son, I saw this picture of me at my return to work/post-baby shower and I have avoided the camera ever since.

I actually cried about it a couple of times when I would see pictures of people with their infant children. My son would have no record of the two of us together during his first year of life because I simply refused to be infront of the camera. I hate my post-partem body, the last 30lbs of baby weight that I can't get rid of, the horrible scar from my emergency c-section, and the large flap of skin/fat left over from gaining almost 100lbs.



But to speak to the positive side ... I also have a picture of myself from about 10 years ago. I was the skinnest I had been in a few years and I looked amazing. Though at the time I probably thought I was huge - little did I know the weight/size yet to come! When I decided to have WLS I put that picture on my dresser along with one of my son. They remind me even when I am frustrated, can't find something to wear, sweaty from simply getting dressed, that change is coming. And now only 3 days left!

6 comments:

  1. I bet you're so excited that your surgery is so close! I am hoping to get banded next month. I just finished reading through your whole blog and really enjoyed it. I also had a difficult pregnancy (I also got gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, pre eclampsia, bedrest, etc. etc.) and I had to laugh at your "Motherly Advice" post...your mom totally sounds like my mom! Anyway, I look forward to reading about your journey and sharing along the way.

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  2. I just found your blog and will follow your success journey. I was just banded on 9/11 and wish you best of luck for your surgery.

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  3. Those maternity gowns will be a thing of the past in no time. Almost there!

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  4. Good things ahead! Think how exciting it will be to dump those x sizes and get thinner. We are all behind you here cheering you on. Not long now!! WHOO..

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  5. Excited to watch your progress! Thinner, healthier days ahead!

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  6. Hey I'm glad u posted the before pics. I see an adorable gal in them but I understand that seeing them for you produces mixed feelings.

    I've *only* lost 40 lbs but I'll tell you, comparing pics is a lot of fun because you can study them and they inspire you.

    Friday is coming so quickly for you. I am excited for you. We're here for you!

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