nutritionist-smitionist!

I guess you could say I've checked off the box next to "see a nutritionist." Please pay $55.

I was very disappointed in the visit. She was very nice but that's about it. She basically read to me from a hand out that is pretty much word-for-word in the book that my surgeon already gave me.

Seriously? You don't have any advice specifically taylored for ME? She told me that if I had any questions before or after the surgery to e-mail her and if I wanted to come back in post-op she would help me work on a plan. Why couldn't we work on a plan before the surgery ... you know have something place for when I come home?

Just seems silly to me to pay someone $55 to regurgitate material. But at least that box is checked now.

motherly advice

My mom and I went to see the Jersey Boys this past weekend. It was a pretty good show even if I was her 2nd choice date (dad was sick).


We talked quite a bit about my decision to have the lap-band. She asked a lot of questions and of course almost cried. She kept saying "if this is what you want to do ...." I don't know what to make of that. She has talked about me having WLS since 2003. She wanted me to do it at the same time my sister had her gastric bypass but I refused. She has mentioned it no less than once a month for the past 6 years and now that I am finally going to do it she says "if this is what you want to do ...." I just don't get it!

Anyone else out there have parents who talk about your weight constantly?

Weight history to June 2009

I never thought I was overweight as a kid. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't the skinnest girl in the class but I wasn't the biggest either.

Puberty came and along with it my mother's big boobs! No matter what I ate/didn't eat there they were. I was an active pre-teen, I took dance lessons and danced on a school sponsored team. But I never looked as skinny as the other girls.

In high school, I dieted and dieted. But no matter what I did I still had big boobs and big hips. My prom dress was a size 18.

Weight History:

1997: senior year HS - 196lbs (BMI 31.6 - I had no idea I was obsese at 18)
1998: freshman 15 err 25 - 220lbs
1999: tore ACL and became non-active - 230lbs
2000: counciled by registered dietician - 250lbs
2001-2005: trying to find the numbers
2006: start weight-watchers - 282lbs
2007: wedding day - 249lbs
2008: pre-pregnancy - 289lbs, end-of-pregnancy - 372lbs
2009: january - 330lbs, june - 320lbs (BMI 51.2)

Pre-Surgery Weight - TBD
Realistic Goal Weight - 180lbs
Government Goal Weight - 130lbs (that would give me a BMI of 21 "perfect" according to the US gov't)

First of many appointments

I had my initial visit with the bariatric surgical office last week. It was supposed to be first thing Tuesday morning but due to a 2 HOUR traffic delay ... I had to reschedule for that afternoon. Unfortunately, that meant that Husband could not go with me. He was bummed.

I met with the nurse practitioner who went over the details of the surgery and how I am at the high-end of the BMI scale for lap-band. She questioned whether or not I really wanted to do lap-band vs. gastric bypass and I told her I was 110% committed to going the lap-band route. I have seen what gastric bypass can do (via my sister's surgery) but I really prefer something much safer/less invasive.

They weighed me on the biggest scale I have ever seen. It was exactly what I thought it would be - 320lbs. See weight history.

After that it was mostly paperwork and of course writing that magic check to get the whole process underway. Interesting though that I actually didn't meet with the surgeon. They save that for visit 2 after all my test results have been received.

I've got several appointments/tests coming up in the next few weeks. They would have been almost been done by now except I have been sidelined with pneumonia. Lots of coughing fun! The lung doctor says that I should be well enough to proceed with the other tests in another 2 weeks. I've scheduled the nutritionist and psychologist in the mean time - hope they don't care if I cough my way through the sessions.

Husband says he would write me a note stating that I am indeed crazy if it meant we could avoid paying the psychologist. I doubt the insurance folks would take his note but it could be worth a shot! Who know's me better than him?

the past 3 years

I am so disappointed in myself. How did I let myself get this way?

-2006-
I did so well on Weight Watchers almost 3 years ago. I lost about 40lbs in just 6 months. I worked hard at it too. I had a goal - we were getting married and I didn't want to look like a cow in my wedding dress. Then we decided to elope and there went all my motivation. Billy didn't care how much I weighed so why should I?

-2007-
One year went by and what did I do ... I regained it all!

I don't blame anyone except myself - though it was a damn hard year. We got married, bought a house, gained custody of his oldest son (12 at the time), and then his job temporarily transferred him to California (for 6 months)! Whew, am I glad that year is over.

-2008-
When he got back from California we did what any good newlywed couple would do in that situation - if you know what I mean. Turns out though ... even after years of doctors telling me I was infertile and even though I was on the pill ... lots of F'ing will get you pregnant!

So there I was, back at my highest weight ever and pregnant (2008). Pregnancy did not sit well with my body. I got gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and eventually pre-eclampsia. After a week and 1/2 on hospitalized bed rest, our lovely Aidan was born via emergency c-section. Soon after that I went into congestive heart failure, had to have a blood transfusion, and spent another week in the hospital.

-2009-
Finally after a couple of months dealing with an incision that wouldn't heal and blood pressure that wouldn't go down ... I made it through my post-partum phase. By the time it was all said and done, Aidan was almost 3 months old and I was just beginning to feel like myself again. During that time, Billy's ex-wife was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and we gained custody of his other 2 children. Talk about a life-changing experience. We went from 1 kid to 4 kids in a matter of two weeks.

I returned to work in January nearly 2 months earlier than expected because Billy had been laid off and there was no need in both of us being home with the baby. While I welcomed the return to work, it was difficult at best. I missed being home with Aidan. I still do and probably always will.

So there it is - 3 years in less than 7 paragraphs. I'm hoping the next 3 years will be just as dramatic but in a more positive sense. I look forward to losing weight and being able to give my son the mom he deserves.

the decision

I think it was the moment that I was winded walking my 7 month old into daycare that I realized I had to do something drastic.

I thought to myself - how was I ever going to be the kind of mom that I wanted to be when just getting him in the car, out of the car, and into the daycare center each morning was taking my breath away. And making me sweat like a pig on top of it!

So here I go on my journey to be (LAP)banded for life (my life, my baby's life, my husband's life).