This weekend we went to a birthday party for my co-worker's son. He was turning 4 and since they spend most of their free time at the pool of course he wanted a pool party. All of our kids wanted to go since we don't go swimming as a family very often.
I know that people at work know that I am fat. It's not like I'm totally delusional but there is something to be said about them knowing I'm fat in work clothes vs. them knowing I am fat in a bathing suit. Especially since the co-worker throwing the party weighs like 90lbs and runs marathons! She's really nice and I don't think she is very judgemental - it's just the thought of it all hanging out there.
I don't have a problem with total strangers looking/making mental comments but as soon as I have to see that person making the judgement on a daily basis - I am totally self conscious. I didn't used to be this way!!
I wanted to stay in the water and never come out. I felt like the girl in the "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" song. (Of course mine was not itsy bitsy or teenie weenie - but you get the point)
--- Now she's afraid to come out of the water
And I wonder what she's gonna do
Now she's afraid to come out of the water
And the poor little girl's turning blue ---
All that said, I put on a brave face and the kids had a marvelous time. Here we all are in all of our swimming glory!