I know that people at work know that I am fat. It's not like I'm totally delusional but there is something to be said about them knowing I'm fat in work clothes vs. them knowing I am fat in a bathing suit. Especially since the co-worker throwing the party weighs like 90lbs and runs marathons! She's really nice and I don't think she is very judgemental - it's just the thought of it all hanging out there.
I don't have a problem with total strangers looking/making mental comments but as soon as I have to see that person making the judgement on a daily basis - I am totally self conscious. I didn't used to be this way!!
I wanted to stay in the water and never come out. I felt like the girl in the "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" song. (Of course mine was not itsy bitsy or teenie weenie - but you get the point)
--- Now she's afraid to come out of the water
And I wonder what she's gonna do
Now she's afraid to come out of the water
And the poor little girl's turning blue ---
All that said, I put on a brave face and the kids had a marvelous time. Here we all are in all of our swimming glory!
You look great and I'm sure your family had a wonderful time. Good for you!!!
ReplyDeleteThe feeling of being self conscience is amplified with coworkers I think bc (now I dont know what the dress code is where you work), but assuming its at least business casual...we rarely even see our coworkers knees! Let alone their thighs! Good for you for putting on a brave face! I hope you guys put on some sunscreen too :)
ReplyDeleteYou have a lovely family :) And go you! I haven't been that brave in the longest time (except in front of my own kids and MOTH and even then..well lol) Glad you had a great time. Family time is the best
ReplyDeleteI was just at a lap band support group in my area here and a gal there was saying she was intimidated by the gym. The gym has scared me in a long time, but it used to. Right now my thing is being in my bathing suit. I've declined camping and swimming requests from friends, just so I don't have to wear a swimsuit. I signed up for a water aerobics class and then canceled at the last minute.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm now inspired by your post to do something about my swimsuit fears.
Maybe sign up for a class this August.
you go ahead brooke!
ReplyDeletewhen i was waaaaaay pregnant and almost 400lbs, the doctor told me that i should swim to help ease my joints and give me some extra exercise.
the only pool at my disposal (in Sept/Oct) was the one at the university that i work for. so here i was larger than life waddling to and from the pool where the students, faculty, and staff could see me. you think that would have eased my co-worker/baithing suit fears but i doubt that will ever happen - even when im down in the 100s.
PROPS TO YOU MY FRIEND! I know for sure you're braver than I am. I haven't had a swimsuit on in at least 10 years.
ReplyDeleteSpeaks volumes about you. Volumes!