Weight Loss Tracker

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

don't ask, don't tell?

We were planning to tell all the kids together about my decision to have WLS and what it will mean for me and our family. However, two of the three stepkids have been at their mom's house all summer so we just haven't had a chance to have a family meeting.

The eldest stepkid is in the mist of his two weeks of "Nana Camp" - spending time at my parents' house doing swim lessons, chess lessons, bike rides, etc. Sometime last week he overheard my parents talking about "when Nicole has surgery..." and it totally freaked him out. In an effort to calm him, my parents decided to tell him about the WLS and tried to answer any questions that he had.

He told my mom that he loved me no matter what I weighed. She was suprised by just how much love he showed towards me. Makes me smile just thinking about it. :)

So now we have to tell the other two and what I am really worried about is that they won't be able to handle it especially with the situation going on with their mother. I don't want the 8 yr old thinking he might lose both his real mother and me all at the same time. Those of you with kids - how did you tell them?

I've told my parents, siblings, and boss because she had to approve my being out of work. I haven't yet told any of my friends or coworkers. Billy told at least one of his siblings but I'm not sure who else (guess I should ask him tonight).

Who all did you choose to tell/not tell? How did you tell people and what was their response?


  1. I told my parents, sister, brother, etc. Tracey told his parents for me. I tell anyone who asks, but I dont wear a tshirt saying "Ive had WLS". My dad was worried but just wanted me to be happy and healthy. My mom told me "why dont you just do it the with diet and exercise?" My response was "Is that working for you?" She was more concerned with the cost though. She is supportive now. Tracey loved me before the way I was, but loves the energy and changes he sees now.

  2. I told my husband first, before anyone else, and though he was like.. wow, big decision.. he totally supported me. My children range from 18 - 8 and they were all curious, and surprised but again supportive (especially now I've had it done.. the compliments keep coming lol)
    I have kept fairly quiet about it, only those I want to know about it do. I still find it awkward when asked 'how' I lost the weight I have but I haven't had a negative comment yet when I fess up. So all good there.

  3. I told freinds and family and a limited number of co-workers (my boss because I had to).

    I also told my sister and got a weird passive agressive response.

    I haven't told my inlaws because they're very conservative and I didn't want to have to fend off comments about how expensive it is. And judgements about how I spend our $$.

    I am sure that a year from now every one will knoow because I'm pretty much an open book and I'll probably let it slip eventually, and I don't like feeling like I am not being honest.

    Plus, if I'm successful I wouldn't mind being open with perfect strangers who are considering it, too.

    But, the only thing that weirds me out is having co-workers know. Not the co-workers who are freinds, but those people who work near me but I don't really know. Dunno why. Just feels uncomfortable.

  4. I told most peeps, now I tell anyone who asks, I'm not ashamed of it ~ I love my tool ~ it's the best gizmo I've ever had! It's what I needed for ME! Our kids are teens and were fine with the sugery ~ no biggie for them ~ it didn't involve the internet, cell phone or online gaming so I didn't mess up any of their plans! ;-)

  5. I sent out a mass email to everyone in my life and got it out there. Everyone was very supportive and I am glad they all know. I am not a huge fan of secrets. Now my blog is in the signature of all my emails so I tell everyone who I email :)

  6. I told my parents, siblings, and bff before surgery b/c they knew the 2 yrs pre op that I was considering it. I told my boss and 2 friends at work I was pretty close to. Nobody else. Then, I find out my sister is off telling other member of the family and her friends. And my mom is doing the same. So by like 3 wks post op I did an anouncement on my myspace and facebook page telling everybody and that they could kiss my ass if they had anything negative to say. Otherwise, yay! So pretty much everybody k nows but I do not openly talk about it at work or to new friends. I probably will more when I've lost more.