Epic FAIL

I totally have my days messed up.

I forgot about the appointment that never happened in between my last visit with the FNP and my visit this Tuesday with the surgeon. My original appointment with the surgeon was Tuesday, April 20th. The appointment was at 11:30 so I arrived around 11. After sitting in the lobby for about an hour, I was told that the person with the 11am appointment hadn't even been seen yet. I couldn't wait too much longer because I had a 2pm meeting. So after about an hour and 1/2 of waiting - and not seeing the doctor - I had to reschedule.

Cut to this past Tuesday, April 27th. There I was bright and early for my 9am appointment with the surgeon. Now I haven't laid eyes on this man since I was in the recovery room on October 2, 2009 so I was pretty excited to get to see him. I arrived about 8:30 knowing full well that I was going to stay there until I saw him. I had taken the whole morning off to deal with this and if need be I would take the afternoon off as well!

When I checked in they informed me that Dr. Enochs was already running late and that it might be awhile. I sat in the lobby for about 45mins before they called me back to a room. I asked the nurse if he was there already and she said no. I told her that I would much prefer to wait in the lobby as there is a TV out there than to be stuck in a room with nothing to do. She then informed me that the PA was going to see me.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! I had waited nearly 3 months for some resolution here and now I was going to be seeing the PA? I told them that I would be happy to see the PA but that I wasn't leaving until I saw Dr. Enochs no matter if I had to spend the night!

A different nurse came in and asked me all the standard questions. She told me that I should try a fill under fluoro. No ... really? That's what I've been trying to do for 2 months to no avail. She tried her best to calm me by telling me how good Brett (the PA) was at giving fills and that if anyone could hit my stubborn port it would be him. So off I went to the fluoro room. Drank the barium (again) to show that I still have no restriction (like it was going to magically appear with no fill) and waited for Brett.

Finally I meet the miraculous Brett. He then begins his 45mins of poking. Again with the lay down, sit down, stand up, lean this way, twist that way, tighten, relax. POKE POKE POKE! They even had me stand in the fluoro machine so they could see where the needle was when they were poking me. At one point he said to the nurse .. I think I am going to get the longer needle! Excuse me, those needles are already pretty long. He kept telling me that "this will be the last stick" but I swear it was never ending.

When he finally decided that he had had his fun he told me he was going to ask "the doctor to take a pass at it." I was interested to see if Dr. Enochs could hit this dastardly problematic port. But instead of my surgeon in walks a different surgeon - Dr. Bruce. So still no Dr. Enochs. At least Dr. Bruce was really nice but then he started stickin' me with needles!

After about another 15 mins, Dr. Bruce recommended that I have a port revision surgery. It was like angels from heaven shining down on me. He said the words I had been waiting to hear for nearly 3 months! If the damn thing is broken - please let's fix it! He said that if Dr. Enochs' schedule was too full and I was ok with it that he would do it himself.

So after 3 months and nearly 3 total hours of poking, I am scheduled for a port revision surgery on May 14th. This time they are going to sew it to some mesh to give it more stability when they sew it to my muscle wall. Please let it stay this time. I'm not sure I can go through any more appointments like the ones I've had lately.

And I know my stomach doesn't want to look like this anymore!


I've circled each pock mark to illustrate just how many times they tried to hit my port. The ones with the bruises are where they entered the same hole more than once and/or did a lot of dancing around once they had it in there.

the Banded and the Hungry

Previously on the Banded and the Hungry, I was having issues getting in to see the correct doctor and hoping that my next appointment would be a fill under flouro.

Cut to over a month later and ohh what fun we have had!

I got to see my FNP Lisa shortly after my last post. She had me do the flouro to see how much restriction I had. Guess what it said ... I had practically NO restriction. That barium just flowed right on through things. That being said she decided to put 2ccs into my band. I am supposedly at 7.5ccs already in a 14cc band and by the look of things on the x-ray, I am no where near the restriction I should be at 6 months.

So we went into the other room and she proceeded to give me my fill ... well not so much. She poked and poked and poked. She had me lay down, put a pillow under my back, make a crunch, stand up, sit down (fight fight fight). We went back into the room with the flouro machine and she tried it there as well. But try and try (poke and poke) as she might, there was no getting into my dear little port.

She told me that I must have lost enough weight in certain areas that the port is sitting tilted. She suggested that we wait 2 weeks and see if my weight had dropped again hopefully adjusting the way my port was situated.

Mind you -- with all this poking she went through about 6 needles and 45mins of my life laying on a table getting stabbed!

Fortunately, they didn't charge me for that visit either. I scheduled my next appointment for 3 weeks out because unfortunately she wasn't available in 2 weeks.

My 3 week appointment was on April 23rd.

This appointment was much shorter than my last two. She tried to give me a fill 3 times with the help of another nurse. All tries were unsuccessful. She told me that I needed to make an immediate appointment to see the surgeon.

They squeezed me in to his schedule this past Tuesday(April 27th). But more on that in my next post.

Next time on the Banded and the Hungry: more barium, pokes, and doctors!

hello port, are you really there?

A couple of folks questioned my determination to get my next fill done under fluoro. Let me provide you with a couple of reasons of why I think this is a good idea at this time for me and a friend's horror story.

I am 6 months out in about a week and 1/2. I've lost 45lbs (with the majority of that happening within 1 month of surgery) but literally not a single pound in over a month.

My hunger level is pretty high. And I do a pretty good job of differentiating between head hunger and actual hunger. I usually don't eat until I can actually hear my stomach growling. I can eat 2 eggs and a piece of sausage at 8 am and be growling by 10.

My restriction level is not where I would like it to be. I can literally eat a full sized chewy bagel no problem and probably could go for a second if I didn't stop myself. I can eat 2 slices of pizza and not even worry about getting stuck.

And WHY NOT? It's covered by my insurance and offered right there at my doctor's office. I'm not afraid of a little barium swallow and some x-rays :)

Now onto my friend who attends the same clinic as I do. She had her surgery about a month before mine I believe which would put her around the 6 month mark when her fluoro took place. She had been having the same types of issues that I have with hunger and restriction. Yes, she had lost weight but not as much as doctor (or she) had expected.

When they did the fluoroscopy they found out that her band was so loose that she didn't have any restriction at all! AND to make matters worse, her port was flipped. They weren't sure they had ever given her a fill into the actual port - which means she had been paying for saline injections into her belly for 6 months! I can't imagine the emotion she was feeling when they told her that. She has since had her port repositioned and his hopefully on her way to actual weightloss.

All of that combined helped me decide that my next fill would definitely be a fluoro fill. No reason to put it off. Let's take a look in there and see what is actually happening.

And about talking to the doctor regarding the incompetent people at his practice - been there, done that. I don't think he really cares. I think I'll call a couple other offices today to see what it would cost me to switch.

fill #3 and a shout out

I had fill #3 yesterday and according to the doc's scale I had only lost 3lbs in the 3 weeks since my last fill. One freaking lb a week. How annoying!

The FNP put 1cc in my band bringing me to 4ccs in a 14cc band. Really? Can I get a little more? I had a protein shake last night for dinner so I couldn't tell if I had any new restriction or not. I'll try some eggs for breakfast in a bit and see how that goes.

We took the kids to their first Hospice death preparation counseling session last night. Talk about a hard thing to do. They each seemed to like the counselor and hopefully it will be good for them. We have an appointment to go back next week for some more 1 on 1 time. If you are the positive thinking/praying type (which I am not really) please add my childrens' mother to your list. We know she has a very short time left but we are hoping/praying that she can hold on through Christmas.

Sorry for that bit of downer, I do have some good news, too.

There is a new blogger out there who I met through lapbandtalk.com. She's just joining the blogging world after 3 months of being banded. I've had the pleasure of being in e-mail contact with her for about a month and she is an awesome friend. Everyone check out Tina's Big Band Baby Blog.

who do you trust

I got my 2nd fill today with the lovely nurse practitioner. She told me that she won't be leaving the practice after all - even though she moved 2 hours away. She will still be there on Thursdays/Fridays for awhile longer. YAY! She put in another 1.5ccs giving me a total of 3ccs in my 14cc band. I do find it kind of odd that they don't remove the saline to check how much is in there before they put more in. How would we ever know if I sprung a leak or if they missed the port?

I weighed myself this morning (as every morning) before I got into the shower. My home Weight Watchers scale said 295. I was rather disappointed because that is 1/2 a pound heavier than I was over the weekend but I know that fluxuations occur so I tried not to be too sad.. I was then pleasantly surprised that when they weighed me at the doc's office fully clothed - I weighed 292. That's a 3 pound difference and I had on clothes! So now the big question is do I move my ticker? Do I automatically subtract 3lbs from whatever my home scale says?

Who do you trust?? Your home scale or the one at the doctor's office?

i've got a fillin' (woohoo)

I finally heard back from my surgeon's office regarding my request to have my fill done earlier than originally scheduled. It was supposed to be December 4th making it 4 weeks from my first fill. I haven't felt any restriction since about the 2nd day after the fill and I've been able to eat just about anything I wanted. Granted, I had the one PB experience but I honestly chaulk that up to not chewing well enough since I had only had 3 bites of food before it happened.

The nurse said that I can schedule a fill as close as 2 weeks from my last fill. I thought about scheduling it next week but then I thought ... what happens if I am too tight and everyone is off celebrating Thanksgiving! So it looks like I will be heading to the doc tomorrow. It will have been 2 weeks and 1 day.

Another banded friend of mine "heard somewhere" that people with larger bands (like me at 14ccs) don't get real restriction until around 9ccs. I'm trying not to focus on that. Like my husband says "don't rush it." A few posts ago, I referenced the green zone diagram that my surgeon uses. I found an image of it online. Right now, I am totally in the yellow zone. Hopefully fill #2 will get me at least a little closer to the green zone.

first fill

I saw the FNP today for my first fill. She added 1.5cc to my 14cc band. The poke hurt more than I thought it would but no big deal. I need to write down questions I have. I swear I had 2 or 3 in my mind before I went in there but as soon as we started talking I went blank.

There were several larger women sitting in the waiting room and I wondered which procedure they were getting/had gotten. Today was the first time I wasn't the largest person sitting there. It felt great. The doc says my initial weight was 321 not 320 so I changed my ticker to reflect that. With that extra pound, I am down 23lbs.

My mom was so excited. She asked me if I thought I would be down 50 by Christmas. I told her my goal for Christmas is 40lbs but that right now I am focused on my "turkey test" of 10% (32lbs). I can't wait to prove to everyone that the band works - even on people with a starting BMI of 50+.

one month bandiversary and life update

Today is my one month bandiversary. I feel like I should be more excited than I actually am. I've lost 22lbs in a month, I can fit into some of my old jeans, and I know I am eating so much less than I used to. It's just, sigh, I haven't lost a pound in 2 weeks!!!! I am finally going to get my first fill on Thursday and I hope that will get me losing again.

Things have been busy the past 2 weeks, though. I spent a few days with my 92 yr old grandmother while she was in the hospital. It's so sad to have someone who means so much to you not even know who you are most of the time. However, I wouldn't trade the 3 minutes out of every hour that she knew who I was for anything in the world. It was hard being in my hometown with all my favorite restaurants. I did really well though - no trips to Ham's, Chico's, or Ernie's. All my favorite possessive nouns! They didn't possess me this time though.

My son had his 1st birthday last week. You can check out his b-day pics if you are interested. Of course we had lots of cake. My husband made his famous 10 layer cake. It is to die for. How could anyone pass up 10 layers of luscious yellow cake (2 boxes) and milk chocolate frosting (2 containers)? That would be me but only b/c of the band. I didn't have any cake on his actual birthday because I had eaten a piece of pizza and was so full. I did; however, have 1/2 a piece the next two nights! It was a damn good substitute for dinner. HA!

We have two more kids birthdays coming in November. I think we will get a cheap sheet cake that I won't even want to touch!

Then of course it was Halloween. I decided after spending way too much time looking at costumes that one of my goals for next year is to fit into a store-bought costume. It can be a plus size one but lord it has been years since I have even tried on a costume, let alone purchased one. I want to be a pirate wench. I will achieve that goal! We had an eventful Halloween night. Aidan decided to climb the stairs while his daddy and I were busy telling the 12yr old to get her costume on. He of course fell and bumped his noggin and then did not want to put his costume on. In the mean time, we had the dogs inside so that they wouldn't bark all night and Sam, our chewer, found a tube of steroid hand cream. He proceeded to puncture it and eat all of the petroleum based cream. I called Animal Poison Control (800-2131-6680 for all animal parents) and after charging us their standard $35 fee, they said he would be poopy and thirsty but just fine. We finally got Aidan in his costume, got the spooky make-up on the big kids and headed out. Aidan made 3 houses and then said he had had enough. Fortunately, my parents were there for the night, so he got to go home while the big kids trick-or-treated some more. You should see all the candy.

I am listening to Christmas music at work today. Can we just bypass Thanksgiving and go straight to Christmas?

I wanted to give a shout out to a couple of blogs that I've been following lately:

http://wellfiddledeedee.blogspot.com/ - her NSV post made me excited to see the changes in my body (right now all i am getting is smaller boobs!)

http://stardusticsjourney.blogspot.com/ - join the turkey challenge and set a Thanksgiving goal (if we are going to celebrate it, we might as well use it!)

http://andjustwhowereyouexpecting.blogspot.com/ - her costume made me pee in my pants (anyone else think it looks like a turkey?)

Hope everyone has a great week. I'm determined to lose at least 1 more pound before my fill on Thursday. I can do it!